First year of motherhood
Sunday, September 17, 2006



2 weeks to go for my son's first birthday inshallah. I have no idea how i am going to celebrate it yet, as its going to be in ramadhan and people are not really up for parties at that time. So it will probably be a small gathering at my house since he is too young to appreciate it anyway. After all the first birthday is mostly for us parents and family and friends..

It's been almost a year and i still stare at him in wonder while he sleeps. whenever he does something new like look up when i say up or dance in his serious funny way... i realise how much adults underestimate the intelligence of children. he's beautiful to me.. and i think i will always feel that no matter how old he gets (one of my friends say beautiful is for girls not boys... but beautiful is the word i feel so there :P)

i feel that this age is the most crucial age.. not the first year when mostly its about taking care of your child.. but rather this stage where you set the stage for him.. teaching him objects, words and the difference between right and wrong.. and once you start on this path it never ends..

the dilemma of a working mother is that she is rarely ever has the time to teach her children ... i find myself going home at 5 in the evening.. spending like an hour with him, mostly feeding him and bathing him .. then he gets all cranky and its time for bed..

i come home to find out he had learned something new like pointing to the tv when you say tv,, and although its an extreme joy to see him learning.. a small part of you is sad that it wasn't you who taught him this little (or big?) thing.

everyone keeps telling me u have all the time in the world to teach him things.. but the truth is i don't.. time is precious every minute that passes by is a minute less of your life..

maybe i am over fussy.. but that's just the way i am.

Image hosting by Photobucket




4 comment(s):

i think part of my son's boredom is that he is lonely.. no little cousins to play with or birthdays to go to.. comes from his mother being anti social i guess..

i am thinking of retiring too.. that is if i am still in the gov sector in another 10 year time.. but its true.. my son will be on the verge of teenage and busy with his own life at that time anyway !!

By Blogger Mystique, at 2:46 PM  

I dont know why i dont feel like all these bad feeling,, i mean i feel guilty wanting to rest a bit ,,like just lay down for 15 minutes when i come from work ,,i feel guilty that instead of thnkng to just take my son n gve sometime for mama to rest , i also feel guilty that time is going as u said and i am not spending much time as i should and as i want but then tirness make me feel like i want a rest! i Know both my feelings are contradicting but my point is: if we would have stayed at home 24 / 7 then can we be sure that we wud have been spending so much quality time with our kids and family? maybe we wud have felt over stressed and over used and over tired and over ignored and over and over! unless u r a very very very giving person (rare)

maybe its not that bad we are working..Maybe we just need to enjoy our time with our babies as we have them as much as possible..coz i dotn think we are like very into our work to that extreme so the time we get inshallah should be enough,,

Maybe on anther hand am sayign this becoz my son's timing are different from other babies! My son is asleep when i come back from work,, and wakes up like one hour ater i reach or earlier somtimes,,but main point is he sleeps at 11:30 or 12 at night! playing all over from the time he wakes up say from 5 or 4 tille 11:30 giving me time to go out with him and play with him ,,specially since i am his favourite football mate ;) ..

By Blogger FerreroRoche, at 8:15 AM  

OD deal :D

Ferrero, i guess its different for you because u leave work at 2:30 and as u said ur son sleeps late..

i arrive home at 5 or 5:30 ..sometimes later because i run my errands before i go home.. and my son sleeps by 8:30 most of the time.. so i end up barely seeing him..

By Blogger Mystique, at 10:13 AM  

i felt the same way when i first played my Playstation 2 in 2001.

i even used the same words: "so beautiful".

i hope that i will say that again when i play Playstation 3.

By Blogger Det. Conan, at 8:47 AM  

location.href=https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/15736175/115847824365569027;> Post a comment

<< Home

Image hosting by Photobucket

Image hosting by Photobucket