random thoughts

Crappy week
Tuesday, June 27, 2006

It's seems I am being hunted .. a series of bad luck incidents for the past week has driven me crazy ..

1) my mother and sister are joining me for my holidays.. ok I love my mother and I love my sister but I was so looking forward to some quiet private time between me and my husband which of course I am not going to get now.

2) last week our bathroom sink tap broke. and of course being the lazy people we are we didn't get a new one yet. yesterday my sister opened the tap and the water wouldn't stop.. so we had to close the main switch.. I guess we needed that push .. off to ruwi today to get a new one.

3) I had a minor car accident last week. I still get angry thinking of it.. let's just say she hit me and I got blamed for it. two days later I discovered that same lady had a car accident the day before she hit me !!! .. if I had known that before I would have told the police and it would have been a different matter. I was planning on writing a whole post about this but then I discovered she is the relative of a friend and her husband's bro is married to my husband's sister.. so ,, no ranting :P

4) work is hectic.. still haven't gotten my yearly increments (which btw was supposed to be due in JANUARY).. I think its time to look for a new job.. I am getting tired of this.

5) on the good side.. less than two weeks and I will off for my holidays... oh wait.. I just remembered my mother and sister are coming along.. ok.. crap again.

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Mollie's song - Beverly Craven
Monday, June 19, 2006

i was listening to an old album of Beverly craven and heard this song again.. i haven't heard it in years and its only now as a mother than i really felt the words that she sang to her daughter and related to them. So i decided to post them as a reminder to myself of how i feel at the moment.

You should be fast asleep - by now,
Another day is over,
you're all tired out,
Close your eyes, i kiss you good night,
And tip-toe away as i turn out the light.
Sometimes i still can't believe that she's my child,
And i'm someone's mother,
I'll always be there to love her,
'cos she's relying on me.

Suddenly, everything's become clear,
I realise when she calls why i'm here,
She needs me to depend on through the years.

You should be fast asleep by now,
See you in the morning, you've worn me out,
We need some time, your father and i,
To get back to being with each other tonight.

You came and without a warning my life changed,
And each day gets better,
You'll be my baby forever,
Just like my mother and i.

Suddenly, everything's become clear
I realise when she calls why i'm here,
She needs me to depend on through the years.
Sometimes i still can't believe that she's my child,
And i'm someone's mother,
I'll always be there to love her,
'cos she's relying on me.

Suddenly, everything's become clear
I realise when she calls why i'm here,
She needs me to depend on through the years.

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2 comments
Wednesday, June 14, 2006

2 comments I now HATTEEE from hearing them so often.

1) I am out somewhere with my son. someone stops me and says "ohh cute baby" and I am smiling like an idiot here as though I personally acheived his cuteness. then they say is he your DAUGHTER and I am like no he is my SON. so far I am not really annoyed. then they are like oooohh but you're so young.. you're only 18 or 19 aren't you? now I am annoyed lol.. and I go like noo I am 27 years old. and they just give me this blank look.

ok I know this is stupid. I mean everyone tells me in a few years time I will appreciate looking younger than my age. but you get treated differently when people think you are still a teenager, they don't pay attention to you in shops, and they disregard everything you say as though being young means your stupid. I think I should wear a badge with my age on it.. or maybe.. I should stop wearing those jeans and t-shirt and start dressing my age. oh well

2) I am out with my son and someone comments saying "who does he look like" and I go like he's a mix between me his father and his grandmother. they nod. then they pause. and finally they say "but how come he so much whiter than you" !!!! **&^%$#@! now what do you say to that? shall I comment " oh well you know I was having an affair with this white guy and that's why he's this color" of course not. so I just smile blandly.

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Marriage or Loneliness
Monday, June 12, 2006

I read in the English sabla today a topic where the thread starter asked if it's better to get married to someone who loves you (or respects you) or to stay alone.

Surprisingly a lot of the women answered that they would rather get married because it gives them a chance to experience marriage and have kids if god wills or even someone to talk to..rather than be alone.

Some said they would marry a friend, some said they would go for arranged marriage but the conclusion is that 90% said they would get married.

When I was a teenager I used to say I would never get married to someone I didn't love. As I believed, and still do, that marriage needs to be based on love, because with love comes respect and tolerance of faults and also love in itself is exciting. And I stuck to that, I got married to a man I loved.

But I was lucky. Alot of people don't have that chance of love and they decide to get married to someone they respect and feel they will have a compatible marriage with and I used to look down on those people thinking to myself " how can anyone get married without love" but I feel ashamed of that now.. even if the marriage turns out to be unsuccessful it is better to experience life than to sit on the sidelines.

Of course I am biased, because I am married and could not imagine being alone. But I still believe its better to get married than to be alone. Chosing someone respectful and compatible is the key. It does not have to be a great love or a great passion. Who knows, love could come after marriage and for those who are in love and married, love can fade away. The Key to a successful marriage is RESPECT, with respect comes love, communication and all the other factors. RESPECT is the essence not love.

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On the women's shoulders !!
Tuesday, June 06, 2006

I had a very interesting discussion with my husband and friend oracle yesterday and it made me realize a lot of “qualities” about men and in the same time frustrated the hell out of me.

I guess I have to start from the beginning, we had one of these music channels playing in the background and oracle asked my husband if men get attracted by these women showing off their body or if after a while it becomes normal “just another stomach, or arm or leg etc” and my husband said that to a guy its always interesting.. guys will always look to see if they can see something more that they didn’t see before !!

And then we started talking about men cheating (don’t ask how we got from there to here !! ).. and well that’s where things got frustrating.. we reached the stage where:

I said: “some men cheat because they like the variety”

H: “ no. Men will only cheat if they have a reason to cheat”

Me: “ yes and one of those reasons is that they want variety”
Oracle: “ but why do men cheat??”

H: “ it’s like this, if a man loves his woman and is happy (and the keyword is happy not love here) then he won’t cheat. However if a man is unhappy with something whether its in their love life, attention factor, food, whatever it is, he builds it up inside slowly until he cheats”

Oracle and me : “ why doesn’t he just tell her what he is upset about”

H: “ a man expects a woman to be smart enough to realize what he is upset about”

H: “well then its her fault he cheated”
Of course total rage from me and oracle by this stage

Oracle: “ but he married her knowing she is not the intuitive type when it comes to these things for example”

H: “ ok, let me elaborate. A husband will know that its her nature, but he will still not tell her because he’s a kid after all, he wants her to figure it out and approach him. Say, this thing he doesn’t like happens once, then again, then again. The more time passes the less the man remembers that his wife is the type who won’t pick it up and the more frustrated he gets and the more it builds up inside him and then he goes out and does the ultimate mistake he cheats, and then he blames the woman for it!”

Me and oracle: “%&####%& !! he just used his problems as an excuse to cheat its not her fault he did”

H: “ but in his mind it is her fault. Even if he loves her and feels guilty about it he will still blame her for making him unhappy enough to cheat, the key word is keeping the man happy its not only about love”

Of course by this time me and oracle are both numb and then oracle says weakly “ but that’s selfish”

H: “yes but men are selfish”

So there you have it.. men are selfish and women are blamed for everything !! I guess as I said the burden will always lie on our shoulders !

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Public displays of affection
Sunday, June 04, 2006

A Friend sent me the picture above which is apparently causing a huge fuss in the arabic world.. its a singer named asalah kissing her husband on a tv show.. and yes you read right her HUSBAND !!

i really don't see what the big deal was.. i mean sure it might have been an unexpected move from her but he's her husband for god's sake.. and so a discussion of public displays of affection started between me and my friend.

I talked about how when i was in london last week i kept looking at the couples in the underground hugging, holding hands, kissing and wishing that i could do that with my husband in public. its not like i will be all over him all the time, but at least its an option.. sometimes inadvertently i would touch his cheek or smooth out his hair when we are out and then we would be looking around wondering if someone saw it.

even though he is my husband but we were taught from a young age that this is "3aib" and not acceptable. but its those small things that keeps the spark between a couple amongst other factors.. being natural and spontaneous is better than trying to control urself all the time, at least in my book.

My friend agreed that it's nice to be able to display this kind of affection in public but we disagreed on the extent.. kissing was a no to her and to me well.. i was a little more undecided.. for the moment though i would be happy if i can at least hug my husband in public and not feel awkward about it.

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Crappy week Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Mollie's song - Beverly Craven Monday, June 19, 2006

2 comments Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Marriage or Loneliness Monday, June 12, 2006