On the women's shoulders !!
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
I had a very interesting discussion with my husband and friend oracle yesterday and it made me realize a lot of “qualities” about men and in the same time frustrated the hell out of me.
I guess I have to start from the beginning, we had one of these music channels playing in the background and oracle asked my husband if men get attracted by these women showing off their body or if after a while it becomes normal “just another stomach, or arm or leg etc” and my husband said that to a guy its always interesting.. guys will always look to see if they can see something more that they didn’t see before !!
And then we started talking about men cheating (don’t ask how we got from there to here !! ).. and well that’s where things got frustrating.. we reached the stage where:
I said: “some men cheat because they like the variety”
H: “ no. Men will only cheat if they have a reason to cheat”
Me: “ yes and one of those reasons is that they want variety”
Oracle: “ but why do men cheat??”
H: “ it’s like this, if a man loves his woman and is happy (and the keyword is happy not love here) then he won’t cheat. However if a man is unhappy with something whether its in their love life, attention factor, food, whatever it is, he builds it up inside slowly until he cheats”
Oracle and me : “ why doesn’t he just tell her what he is upset about”
H: “ a man expects a woman to be smart enough to realize what he is upset about”
H: “well then its her fault he cheated”
Of course total rage from me and oracle by this stage
Oracle: “ but he married her knowing she is not the intuitive type when it comes to these things for example”
H: “ ok, let me elaborate. A husband will know that its her nature, but he will still not tell her because he’s a kid after all, he wants her to figure it out and approach him. Say, this thing he doesn’t like happens once, then again, then again. The more time passes the less the man remembers that his wife is the type who won’t pick it up and the more frustrated he gets and the more it builds up inside him and then he goes out and does the ultimate mistake he cheats, and then he blames the woman for it!”
Me and oracle: “%&####%& !! he just used his problems as an excuse to cheat its not her fault he did”
H: “ but in his mind it is her fault. Even if he loves her and feels guilty about it he will still blame her for making him unhappy enough to cheat, the key word is keeping the man happy its not only about love”
Of course by this time me and oracle are both numb and then oracle says weakly “ but that’s selfish”
H: “yes but men are selfish”
So there you have it.. men are selfish and women are blamed for everything !! I guess as I said the burden will always lie on our shoulders !
14 comment(s):
omg.... loool @ mystique :XD: :XD:... err... now that sounds like a woman has to keep her husband at bay... and do her best to keep him entertained so that he won't go looking for another woman... :S... why do I have a feeling thinking that way's just too weird cuz it gives the impression all men are untrustworthy!
I'll get back to this one...LOL...
By
TripleTee, at
4:34 PM
Hmm.. I think, your hubby just might have a point there.. I mean.. It IS the woman's role to make the husband feel welcome at home, make him feel loved, appreciated and pay attention to every little detail there is, after all, that IS our nature..
But to cheat.. because of lack of attention or love or even misunderstandings (what a long word), and then completely blame her? No.. I don't think that's fair.. I mean, just like men expect women to understand and figure things out on their own, women expect that too, but when that doesn't happen, we actually complain, we tell our husbands we're upset, unhappy, feeling uncomfortable and if anything is bothering us, no matter how silly..
You might hear the expression "she drove him away".. Which is usually the case, because I agree if the man is ultimately happy with his wife, he would never consider cheating..
As for not having a reason, just needs variety as you mentioned Mystique.. then.. Hmm..I don't know.. Then he is definetly to blame! A woman would do everything in her power to keep "7adret janabo" entertained and he'd still cheat.. well.. 3illeh! lol
I also agree that men are big children (:p lol), that it's so easy to persuade and manipulate them (indulge them), a woman has to be smart and know how to deal with her husband in order to keep him by her side forever and ever..
In other words.. We are better! :p
By
Blind Melon, at
6:11 PM
aaahhh... that's sad :S.... I mean of course one has to show love and make their husbands feel good at home and vise versa... but having to worry about him having an interest in other women is just torture... it's like I'm only burrowing him and can only keep him if I work for it... ahhh...
he's either with me and devoted to his responsibility as a husband (since I'm sure he'd have a good reason to marry me in the first place) or he's not!... I don't rent, I buy! lol
I'd like to have trust in him and not doubt that he'd go choosing someone else... oh ... besides... I'm sure I can make him feel good anyway :p but my reason for that wouldn't be to keep him from other girls!! I'd never think of it that way unless I saw him cheating with my own eyes.
By
TripleTee, at
8:08 PM
Well, most marriages fail because one partner feels the other isn't affectionate enough towards them. This leads the particular person to believe that they don't love them the way they used to. The fact of the matter is that often times we've spent so much time together, we don't really realize our physical affection may have vanished. It is important to make sure you keep showing affection. That way, men would have no reason to be cheat!
By
SteLLa, at
9:36 PM
LOOOLLLL!!!... I couldn't stop laughing when i read your blog!... trust me, if he cheats on me i'll ask him to close the door behind him!!!... I can't imagine giving myself to a guy and then he goes and cheats...
Let's look at it from the other side: What if I wasn't happy with him?... what if HE keeps doing it over and over again?... shall I go and cheat coz this time it's HIS fault?
I guess as long as they have this Y chromosome nothing is going to change!!! LOL
By
MiMi, at
2:29 AM
lol, looks like i opened pandora's box with this one. i just need to clarify though that this not my husband's opinion but he was explaining the way most men think.. of course there could be many other factors why a man cheats but we were just discussing a broad based scenario.
Mimi, alot of women do cheat these days and surprisingly the statistics are increasing but the reason why women are less likely to cheat is because to us its an intimacy, its emotional while to a man its physical more than emotional.
Oracle, i think i will leave the ice cream theory to later !! but regarding the remorse thing yeah my husband was saying that a man could really love his wife but if he is upset about something he might cheat and then he feels guilty about it and buys her gifts or shows more attention.. but it doesn't stop him from cheating !!
and to the rest of you who said life was fair ! when me and oracle said it was unfair he just said "life is never fair" imagine our reaction to that
what i liked about this is that is gave me some insight into how men think.. that's what i love about my husband he doesn't sugar coat it for u ,, he'll tell u how he sees it and that's it.
By
Mystique, at
9:55 AM
Mystique, I will have to agree with your husband(not because I am a man :p), for most of the cases, the husband will look for something outside because the inside isnt feeding him, & for most of the cases, he will blame the wife.
By
NiGhTFaCe, at
5:39 AM
To say truth, people, it seems to me that usually women blame men much more than they do it.
But yeah, men are very selfish.
Arm - be selfish too, girl! :)
I hope, I`m.
P.S. to be selfish does not mean to be a a cheater ;-)
By
Sever, at
5:30 PM
LOL , H cracks me up! I don't agree with him however, a husband should tell his wife what's bothering him exactly not just let it all 'build up' and then cheat. That's silly.
By
Unknown, at
9:12 PM
he isn't agreeing with a man letting it all build up in him..but he was explaining to us how some men think i guess :P
By
Mystique, at
8:24 AM
El Muhim Grl at the end of the conversation did he ,, i mean ur husboo,, tell u that he loves u no matter what and this is not his thnkng but other men's!
Heheh ei know u will say no need to say that coz u knw it ..but afta such a deep difficult hard talk and some insight into men reality n hidden thinkings if i was in ur place i wud have loved if my husboo said sth like : OFFCOURSE ALL THAT IS NOT Me! even thu this sounds silly maybe but it wud have made me much much much beta
even if i was sure he is not liek that
STOP!
What am i talking about!
Sorry
!!!!!!!!! :p hehehe
By
FerreroRoche, at
9:57 AM
lol i know what u mean ferrero..because u would think if he says it ,, does he maybe sometimes think it? and we don't want to feel threatened or worried that our men will cheat on us if he does "think or imagine" that we are neglecting them in some way.. i know my husband doesn't think this way and i don't need the reassurance of that.. but as you said sometimes reassurance is that little extra thing that u need.
By
Mystique, at
10:03 AM
Exactly what i mean Mystique
That lil extra thing u need sometimes.
By
FerreroRoche, at
11:26 AM
Think of it that way.
cheating is all about challange. the thrill of it drive bored men wild.
the act is wrong yet the theory is right.
i am going to add more when you post the ice cream topic.
By
Det. Conan, at
8:56 AM
location.href=https://www.blogger.com/comment/fullpage/post/15736175/114959575933534505;> Post a comment
<< Home