Depressed..
Thursday, September 07, 2006
1) Yesterday my son fell off our bed.. this is the second time that it happened and this time i am fully to blame.. i had just given him a shower and dressed him then turned to pick up something when he decided to try and take a look and sort of rolled off the bed.. our very high bed .. and onto the very hard no carpet floor.
needless to say i got the fright of my life and kept checking him for breaks all night.. i felt so depressed after that.. totally put me off celebrating my wedding anniversery (yes it was our 2nd anniversery yesterday).. my husband got really stressed out when our son fell which is natural and i felt guilty all night.. actually i still do..
2) i have been going through a rough time at work recently.. the work is the same but me and my boss are at odds and as a result i got passed over for promotion when i was due. although i was promised that it will be resolved etc.. i haven't seen anything yet.. and i feel depressed just being in the office.. i just feel totally put off and don't want to deal with this issue anymore.. i know i am a coward and i always like to run away..but i am exhausted emotionally from this.. i mean even if it is resolved,, just looking at his face depresses me.. i know that i am not naive... but i think i lied to myself when it came to my boss.. thinking that he had some decency in him when he doesn't.. lesson to myself.. listen to my instincts..
i mean even if it did get resolved then what? i will always know that i had to fight for my rights and i got it despite him.. how would i deal with him after that? i always base my relationships with people on respect.. and find that if i do lose respect for someone then i cannot deal with them ever again.. and i have lost all my respect for this person.. and i will not be able to deal with him anymore.. its a dilemma.
6 comment(s):
First of all, mabrooook on your anniversary!
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I can't say I know exactly how you feel (not being a mom) but I know what its like to have a baby fall in your care: scares you to death and you feel guilty for ages afterward even when it was a total mistake. Probably nothing but time makes you feel better.
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You boss sounds like a total jerk, I really hope you can find something better than being stuck around him (even with a promotion!).
By
Samyah, at
7:42 AM
you need to buy yourself a baseball bat and keep it at work.. i don't need to add more.. maybe a real gun would work better.
about your son, i think you need to buy him these balloon shirts where he will be floating all the time.
stop worrying about your son too much.. you are turning to you know who..
God is always there to protect your son. have faith.
i can arrange for the baseball bat if you want.
By
Det. Conan, at
8:53 AM
My brother pulled my one month old sister by her blanket onto the floor because he was jealous of her. Thank god, the blanket was underneath her head or else... My mother felt guilty too as she was recalling the story. She prayed 9alat il shukr and then she imprisoned my brother in his bed as a form of punishment.
I guess it happens. we're all human beings and we are prone to making mistakes. There is no use beating yourself about it. Just as you did, learn from this mistake :)
Hope you feel better.
By
Lym, at
6:56 PM
Accidents happen. You do all that you can to avoid them, but still sub7an allah... they still do. All we can do is risk management so that when they do they consequences are smaller. Don't kick yourself in the head over it.
And about the work situation, would you consider changing your job over it?
By
muscati, at
7:14 PM
most important is your son's fine... as soon's that's settled just make sure it never happens again.
The job world sounds tiring really... but I would suggest you not give up after all this... all bosses suck one way or another.
all in all, wish you good luck and happy anniversary :p
By
TripleTee, at
11:20 PM
sam: i think i am getting over the fact that he fell.. well i hope so :P but generally feeling better than before.
Oracle and Det Conan: you know who will be thrilled :P my ultimate horror story
lym and triple tee: thanks for passing by i am feeling much better.
muscati: actually i am looking for another job.. just waiting for the right offer.
By
Mystique, at
8:20 AM
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