The Marriage Question
Monday, January 08, 2007
as usual with the beginning of every year we hear people talking about new year resolutions and their confidence that THIS year will be different from the others etc etc.
From my school gang.. i am the only one married.. and when i sit with my old school gang,, i could feel various emotions flying around.. sometimes i feel depression.. sometimes resentment for their situations .. and mostly denial..
jokes fly around about how i am the 'sad' one because i am married and have a child and committments in that sense.. but you can feel the sadness within them.. the real loneliness they face.. it might not be about marriage itself..but rather about the companionship..
i am surrounded by people who are beginning to lose hope.. my school friends both male and female.. some female family members.. other friends.. i hear them say.. "if it happens then it happens".. or "i am not really thinking about it".. but its all a lie..
what kind of society would make a 26 - 28 year old person feel like a failure if they hadn't gotten married !! we are still young,, but we are forced to act old and feel old.. they kill the youth in us.. and its sad to see ...
These friends all realise that marriage is a responsibility.. which requires hard work and they accept that just so that they are not alone.. i can understand that..
the saddest thing i see though is when someone says to me that they have reached a stage where they cannot see themselves married.. because they have gotten so used to their independence and loneliness.. it's sad because it shows an unwillingness to compromise.. to touch and be touched to actually be with someone and experience this whole new life.. with the good and bad...
i've been thinking about this alot.. and i begin to understand the whole match making frenzy.. the weddings (basically a marriage market).. the whole internet chat forums issue.. everyone is just desperate.. desperate not to feel alone anymore..
4 comment(s):
.. maybe its about a generation gap. Like, while ppl are starting to go for careers and more education and putting off marriage for the sake of it (or for finding the right "one" and not just having "someone") they still have the mentality that by this age they should be married because the generation before that was..
Just a thought I guess.
By
Samyah, at
10:51 AM
that could be a reason.. but a problem arises when these same people (guys)feel that they are ready to settle down.. they don't look at single girls their age.. they look for younger girls and those are left behind.
By
Mystique, at
11:30 AM
Sometimes when I think of the future, I'm scared that I will end up alone and I am only 20! But then I comfort myself by saying I will deal with it if that is my fate (as we believe it is in Islam).
There is no use crying about it if I am 30 with no husband. I admit that I will be unhappy about it, and maybe even desperate (I don't see why can't women be honest about it), but then at the end of the day, I will deal with it.
I think women who are like that, should stop whining and start doing other things to occupy their 'miserable' lives. I think I will adopt many children, occupy myself by doing some charity work, pursue a higher education, spoil my nieces and nephews, take care of my parents and travel
I don't know. I mean, I truly believe that everyone has a purpose in life that God has determined for us. Not every woman is meant to be a wife and mother, but sometimes only a caring devoted daughter or sister or perhaps a female who will make a difference in the world in another way – as in not through bearing children and raising a generation. A woman should just accept it, thank her Lord, and try to be the best she could be by doing other things. At least that's the way I see it...
I will try to make myself feel content about my life. That is good enough, even though I will realise that there is something significant missing in my life - my so called man.
By
Lym, at
2:53 AM
God bless Sony Company.
God Bless the PS3.
God Bless the PSP.
By
Det. Conan, at
8:53 AM
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