random thoughts

Blogging from London
Wednesday, May 31, 2006

As the title says i am in London at the moment. I have been sent by my employees for a two day training course and i flew one day ahead in order to be able to relax before the hassle of the trainings begin.

It's a strange feeling being in london after all these years - last time was 2002- everything is the same yet i feel as though everything is different. i feel homesick.. i miss my husband alot and i miss my son so much as well. its the first time i have been seperated from them and my heart is aching. I know its 'only' three days but its a lifetime to me.

It's only 5:30 pm here and i am exhausted. i managed to sleep a few hours on the plane and i went to oxford street to do some shopping but nothing dazzled me.. some things i felt were overpriced and others well.. nothing interested me. i got some stuff for my son and husband and that's about it. I am actually amazed that i didn't get anything for myself !! it seems i have truly changed and my priorities are no longer what they used to be.

I am going to go hunt for some food, i hear there is a good chinese restaurant in this area so will order some stuff, come back to the hotel and then talk to my husband for the 50th time today.

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I'm in love !!
Tuesday, May 30, 2006

With this phone
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its the sony ericsson W850 which was just announced a few days ago (full specs on the sony ericsson website)

First of all i am a sony ericsson girl and i have been looking for a good phone to replace my old k700 since last year.

I finally decided in January that i am going to wait for the k610 (below) as it has the 3G functionality i am looking for, looks sleek and colorful and has a memory card slot and pretty much covers all my needs..
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but today i saw the W850 and i am in love :) its a slider phone, comes in black and white, 3G functionality, with a 1 GB memory card, excellent sound quality with the walkman series, fm, 2 megapixel camera.. i can't say anymore..

now i am confused.. i guess it depends how long before it comes out and how patient i can be.. and of course the main determining factor price !

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Teletubbies Hypnosis
Monday, May 22, 2006

Every morning my son watches Teletubbies on Space toon. and he is totally mesmerised, hypnotised glued to the tv by it and i mean TOTALLY. I watch it with my son and all i hear is these Teletubbies saying Hi or Bye or giggle or heeeeyyy in their squeeky voices ..and of course the teletubbies song at the beginning.. not to forget the sun with the baby face that giggles as well..

I hate this show but apparently its a worldwide hit and every mother swears by the magic of teletubbies and how it helps their kids relax and stay still for the 20 minutes of the show. I admit its amazing to see my son actually sit and watch it but i wonder what the appeal is?

is it the bright colors? the childish acts? or is there something we have no idea about .. some kind of hidden hypnosis in this show that we don't see but kids see !! lol

I am beginning to believe that last one.

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Zombie
Sunday, May 14, 2006

I have been totally exhausted lately..I think its the combination of work, trying to keep up with my increasingly active son and longing for quality time with my husband that is getting to me finally..

I go to work every morning at 9 and I stay there till 4:30.. by the time I get home its 5 and I try to spend some time with my son who greets me with a huge smile and then some hair pulling as if to say "where have u been all day?? " I treasure this time with him and give him his daily shower (as I don't allow anyone else to do it) and feed him .. by that time its 6 and my husband has just got back from work.. we have our one meal together and play with our son until he sleeps..

and then I turn into a zombie...

something just switches off.. I push myself all day and then suddenly I just switch off .. its been happening alot lately and I just can't wait to go on holiday..

then there is the guilt factor.. if I decide to go out with my husband I feel guilty about leaving my son at home since I already feel guilty that I work all day and he's alone in the house.. I wish my hours were different and I went home at 2:30 like alot of other mothers because maybe then I wouldn't feel this guilt.. but until then I just have to deal with it ..

I also feel guilt because I want to be spending more time with my husband emotionally and mentally.. not just by physically being there.. but by not being a zombie by 9 everyday.. everyone keeps telling me that we should go away for a few days just me and him.. but then the guilt factor above (^^^^) kicks in again.. its a never ending loop..

maybe this holiday will do me good .. I guess I just have to hold on by then, hope my son will forgive me for my tiredness. and thank my husband for his love, dedication and never ending patience.

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Childhood memories !!
Wednesday, May 10, 2006

a colleague at work sent me this pic today .. and when i saw i it i was like "oh my goooooddd that is soo old!!!"

.. i almost forgot the old look pepsi had when i was a kid.. and strangely enough when i saw that pic i could almost taste and smell and see images from my childhood..and i felt so happy at that instant thinking about it..

I remembered running around near my unlce's house.. shaking those pepsi cans with my cousins and spraying them all over the place .. those weird strange things we did as kids for no apparent reason..

sometimes a smell or an image can remind you of things you thought u forgot but the reality is they are just hidden somewhere in the back of ur mind and u need to dig a bit to find them.

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Heartbreaking
Monday, May 08, 2006

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Those precious first words
Monday, May 01, 2006

As my son keeps growing me and my husband keep waiting for the moment he says those most precious words to any parent "Baba and Mama". my son just completed his 7th month and he has started this random continous "bababbababbaba" which could go on for some time and in between u would hear a single 'Baba' or vague 'Mama' and when he says those words.. u feel your heart soften and u look at your child in amazement.

You wonder to yourself how did u ever lead a life without this feeling.. this love .. this utter contentment when you look at your child and u know that you will love this human being for the rest of ur life no matter how he may treat you in the future.. u just do the best you can and hope for the best.. after all there is nothing else you can do .. you hope that your son or daughter will grow up to be a smart, moral human being.. with a goal in life that will keep them content and happy.. but sometimes parents fail.. or maybe the society fails..but you still just do the best you can.. and pray for the best always..

when I was pregnant someone told me that when you see your child your heart will suddenly open a secret compartment full of a special and different kind of love that is dedicated to your child and no one else.. love for a child does not take away from your love for someone else.. its something extra and different .. he was right.

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Blogging from London Wednesday, May 31, 2006

I'm in love !! Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Teletubbies Hypnosis Monday, May 22, 2006

Zombie Sunday, May 14, 2006

Childhood memories !! Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Heartbreaking Monday, May 08, 2006