Friends ?? or Acquaintances??
Thursday, March 30, 2006



It's taken me 15 years if not more to really comprehend this distinction. I was sitting with a bunch of friends yesterday and someone mentioned a memeber of our "gang" who was missing and it finally clicked in my head that this member was never a friend but merely an acquantaince and I feel like I have finally given up on her..

and I got to thinking about the true meaning of friendship and how loosly we use this term in our everyday lives..

a friend is supposed to be someone you share yourself with, your dreams, hopes, worries and also someone who knows at least generally what's going on in your life no matter how busy you are.. you know how their family are doing and if anyone is ill and if they are travelling or here..and stories about their childhood..

I used to think I had friends in that sense..but coming to think of it.. We (as in my old high school gang) meet up from time to time.. laugh and talk.. but most of our conversation is remembering high school advantures and the rest is general.. I get shocked everytime by how little I really know about the people around me..

I realise that my best friend always kept something of herself back.. which is her nature and I understand that.. but it surprises me thati only knew by coincidence that she is going away for a few weeks in the summer.. which maybe years ago I would have been one of the first to know..its a silly thing sure.. but it just makes me realise where I stand..

I found out that another 'friend' was ill and in the hospital and I knew nothing about it..

I found out that well.. the list could go on..

Maybe I am the one who has drifted away from them but the reality is that conversations have become stilted when we all sit together and I guess that's why we hide behind the high school stories..

That's not to say we aren't friends..but its the level of friendship that dissapoints me..


All this makes me realise how alone I really am.. if it wasn't for my husband and son.. my life would be really empty..

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Baby Walkers .. Panic !!
Monday, March 27, 2006



I was browsing through the net looking at baby articles (my latest obsession) when i found this

"walkers are detrimental to normal development. Because the babies can get around too easily, their urge to move across the floor is satisfied, and many of them will not undertake the important task of crawling, creeping, scooting, or hitching. This stage is important for developing strength and coordination.

Many parents think that walkers will help children learn to walk. As it turns out, walkers interfere with learning to walk. In addition to decreasing the desire to walk by providing an easier alternative, walkers strengthen the wrong muscles. The lower legs are strengthened, but the upper legs and hips become relatively weak. The upper legs and hips are most important for walking.

Moreover, children in walkers have more accidents than their counterparts. Walkers often tip over when a child bumps into a small toy or the edge of a rug. They are also more likely to take a dangerous fall down a flight of stairs."

Since my son hit the 5 month mark i put him in the walker.. and he's becoming quite good in directing himself where he wants to go mashallah.. and now i read this.. so imagine the total panic i felt at this.. i even called my husband and he calmly said ,, don't put him in the walker so much.. and i was like i can't control the maid when i am at work.. so we reached the conclusion that we will go look for this

"For children who want to be upright, an exersaucer can be a nice alternative. These look like walkers, but without the wheels. They allow children to bounce, rock, spin, and sit upright -- without satisfying the urge to move across the floor. They are safe and developmentally appropriate"

i know i know.. first time parents and over protective i guess but what can i do.. i want the best for my son.. and who knows he might enjoy that exersaucer so its worth it..

i think i should stop reading too many baby articles !!

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OK.. can't think of a title!!!
Wednesday, March 22, 2006



Ok.. so I went grocery shopping the other day at lulu hypermarket.. in the evening,, big mistake.. it was soo crowded you had to push people to get to the vegetables.. its just getting worse at that supermarket.. and moreover.. I think they raised their prices !! I am seriously thinking of shopping at Sultan Center from now on.

Anyway what I actually wanted to say but got sidetracked is, I was at the counter paying for my stuff when the Omani girl at the check out calls to her supervisor and says: ‘so when can we leave?’ apparently she and two of the other girls at the check out has asked earlier in the day if they can leave early.. so her supervisor says ‘you can see its too crowded,, and there is a lot of work so no leaving early today’ and the girl is like but you said we can leave etc etc.. and her supervisor explains to her that she said they might be able to leave if there isn’t much work and ended with ‘11 girls are absent today as it is!’ and that’s when I open my eyes in shock.. and think to myself what the hell.. 11 girls absent in one day !! But did that stop the girl? Nope she kept on saying with a sad face.. “But you said we can leave early today”

And people wonder why they won’t hire Omani’s.. I bet you if they changed the system to hourly wages then everyone will finish their shift in full.


**** Oh and something totally not related. I just offered my colleague at work a small orange and he was like no thanks.. and I was trying to persuade him.. as this guy never eats anything all day ! and he was like “I am not really into this whole fruit thing.. I mean I buy the fruit and if I don’t eat it ,, it rots in my fridge.. so If I do buy it and I am not in the mood to eat then I feel like I am under some kind of deadline to eat it ,, its too much pressure” LOL now that cracked me up..hehehe

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Shadows of my past
Monday, March 20, 2006



When I was younger I used to write poetry and short stories (hard to believe that now though) and well a friend of mine reminded me of it so I went digging in my old scrap books and found that I had written a lot of short stories and poems in both Arabic and English ..

everything was centered around two themes love and depression (apparently I was one depressed teenager lol) .. well for old times sake I thought I would post two of them. the first one I don't even recall writing.. the second one I entered it in a poetry competition when I was studying in the UK and it actually got published by the international library of poetry.. keep in mind that I was only 16 at the time !!

"Shadows of my past"

The glow of the lamp is the only light in the room
nothing else lessens the darkness of it
most of all the darkness in my heart
I hear his voice saying
'I pity you,, for you have no soul left
and where your heart once was is a rock'
I weep silently ,, and the room is so quiet
except for the faint tick of the clock
I look around me and all I see are .. Shadows of the past

All my life I have lived for the past
for the passion I once felt
too blind to realize the passion
I could have had

If only I'd looked
but now it's too late
and all I have are.. shadows of the past

22nd April 1997

"When hope dies"

What happens when hope dies ..
when all your dreams and wishes shatter like glass in the sunlight
They say that nothing like that can ever happen
That there is always hope.. that people always think what if or if I ..well maybe I'll try

If I had wings I'd fly away to a secluded island
a place where I can't hurt anyone and no one can hurt me,

If I were a squirrel I'd run up the highest tree and stay there ...out of reach,
If I was a droplet of water I wouldn't be a tear from a sad eye ..I'd rather be from a happy one,

If I were a grain of sand I'd fly into the eye of my enemy.. me.. for I am my worst enemy,
If I was the wind I'd carry love and lovely scents and that certainly isn't here,
If I was the sun I'd shine brightly on the fields of love and burn hate,

There are many if I's but I can't say them all,
but my most important wish is to be all of those and disappear away from here
away is where I want to be and even that I can't have..

so again I ask .. what happens when hope dies?

1st July 1996.


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Higher Ground
Thursday, March 16, 2006



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ok i am posting this to test if i got this whole "uploading a pic into my blog concept" and well if you see the pic then it worked obviously and secondly because i am reading it and couldn't think of anything better to say right now.

what the book is about:

" Of the nearly 300,000 deaths caused by the 2004 tsunami, more than a third were children. Working with personal accounts of survivors and rescue workers, writers retell some of the harrowing accounts. Other authors imagine events that could have occurred, based on known facts. The 16 selections portray the horrific event as experienced by children of various ages in a variety of settings. Although some are more successful than others, all the pieces put a child's face on a disaster of enormous proportions. Black-and-white reproductions of children's art introduce each narrative; a middle section of full-color pictures depicts the nightmare through their eyes. "

I am half way through it and i find it heartbreaking so far. it's written in a way that makes u feel like you're going into the child's mind when the waves hit them and its just terrible to think of the hundreds of thousands of people who died in this disaster.. and well the book is for a good cause so at least i feel that i contributed something to it.

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New to the blogging world



I am new to this blogging world.. it took me over an hour to try and figure out how to upload a picture into my profile (hope you like it as i am currently obsessed with butterflies) then all it took was asking someone who explained to me how to do it in 5 minutes ! i wished i had asked sooner...

am still waiting for my brother to create a template for me but until then using one of these 'default' templates which is so boring...

** oh and finally am sure you will notice that this is post is full of nonsense because am so bored and don't know what to say..

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Mumblings of a new mother
Wednesday, March 15, 2006



I sat on the edge of my bed last night.. watching my son sleep and all i could think about is that i am seeing him grow right before my eyes.. and an intense fear and love overcame me.. i prayed that me and my husband will live to see him grow and that god will keep him safe and i sat there staring at him in his bed for what seemed like an eternity..

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Interference
Tuesday, March 14, 2006



When I was younger i always thought marriage would be hard. Being with someone 24/7 taking care of that someone and ensuring that the marriage works.. and of course all of this is AFTER you choose the right partner.. well i was wrong..that part is easy.. being a mother is hard,,

my son is 5 and a half months old.. and my main problem is interference,, sure i need the help of everyone around me.. my mother.. my friends.. my husband's mother etc.. but what do you do when the way you want to raise and take care of your child is different from your mother's ,, how do you contradict her and say "mom pls stop... this is not what i want"

I am in this dilemma now.. unsure how to approach my mother and tell her to stop giving him medicine every time he cries.. which is on my mind now because she just called me to tell me she gave him something i refuse to give him.. ahh frustrating..

i want to be the best mother i can be.. but interference i think is going to be my main frustration going forward.. and i am only in the take care stage..haven't reached the raising part yet!!!

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Random thoughts



I registered this blog way back in August 2005 just so that i can comment in other people's blogs and have been stuck ever since. I haven't decided yet if i am going to continously blog or randomly.. or never !! but i thought that at least for my sake i should say something here.. leave my imprint on this page in this cybernet world..

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