My Destiny??
Sunday, April 09, 2006



There is a saying in Arabic “Faqid alshai2 la yu36eeh” (damn no Arabic keyboard).

This saying basically means if “you don’t have something then you can’t give it” (stupid translation but go along with me) and it refers to emotions and feelings. It follows the reasoning that for example if you have never experienced a happy home life then you will never know how to provide a happy home life to your family..

If you never felt love from your parents you will not know how to love your children..
If you were never taught how to say sorry you will never learn it and you will be rigid..
If you ..well I think you got my point ,,

I was discussing this with someone the other day and she said she believes in this saying to a great extent and even gave me examples about some people surrounding her that explained her way of thinking.. and even of people in my life.. and I couldn’t argue that she was wrong..

We talked about someone who was raised under a controlling father with no affection but was so emotional and loving with her kids.. until these kids made a mistake and eventually this woman turned to a bitter hard woman just like the man her father was..

And then we discussed me.. how my childhood wasn’t the greatest and my parents not the most affectionate and how no one in my house ever learned to really express their feelings or say sorry when they were wrong..

I have come a long way from there.. and I show all the love to my husband and son because I was never shown it in the way that I dreamed of.. so in my case I am actually trying to be the total opposite of the environment I was raised in..

But I worry ,, what if one day I “revert” to this other person who is not affectionate, stubborn and non compromising.. what if I one day prove that proverb true no matter how much I try to fight it.. what if it’s my destiny??

It’s been on my mind for a few days now and I can’t seem to shake it off.. only time will tell.

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4 comment(s):

Dear, if u keep it in ur mind then maybe it will come out one day and u will act as u afraid to act like and excuse ur self by just saying ohh i was meant to be like this ultimalty coz i was raised in such a way.!!!

I dont belive in that quote as fixed thingi.. it can apply to alot.. but not to all..

I read somewhere that there was a missunderstadning that ppl grow up to be who they are all depending on teh environemtn they were raised in! When in real and according to a latest study it was proven that actually it is not the environment as much as it is the geenz! thingi u knw! else how come sometimes kids of same family n surrounding and all are so different ,, one is so bad and one is so good ,, if u knw wt i mean ..

Hence, grl dont worry.. we r all human! n it is likly that sometimes we just loose it! and thats not important,, what important is to relaise it when we loose it ,, even after sometime,, and fix our mistakes,, and show the love and care again!

I too loose it alot of time..and comparing to ur childhood i might have had a better healthier one but still i feel u r much more stable nowadays than me .. or stronger.. so gurl dont worry

and i know u wont turn to this montser okkkkkkkkk :P

By Blogger FerreroRoche, at 10:09 AM  

Some psychologists tell you that a lot of you reverts back to the child you once were, the childhood you had. But I don't totally believe in that because its discarding everything that happened AFTER childhood that equally had its effect on you and added/changed bits of your personality.

I don't think it could be your destiniy Mystique, having a loving husband and children changes you forever. Once you've experienced having healthy relationships with people you are not likely to return to being someone who does not know how to have one.

My biggest example for this is my mother, who grew up in a terrible, terrible environment and had no love at all.. but 5 kids and a loving husband down the line she is an amazing person, has more love for us than we can comprehend and is the one who teaches us about morals and values.

By Blogger Samyah, at 10:41 AM  

logically i know what you guys are saying is true... but we all have the little bit of nagging doubt in the back of our minds.. and sometimes i wonder if it will consume me.. but as you said.. its up to me not to let that happen.

By Blogger Mystique, at 12:20 PM  

Nice blog you have..;)

Sounds like your destiny is going to be fine.You have chosen your path already,or your soul has!

Life is what you make it,and from what I see in your writings,you care very much.

Best wishes for you!

By Blogger Randall, at 7:52 AM  

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